So, what would you do?
Would you set the instrument down and the music aside, and give up on the art that has been your expression, one of the most important parts of your life? You already know you can't keep it and play another instrument on the side. Too depressing.
Would you throw it on the fire in frustration? Smash it to bits with your bare hands? Could you destroy the memory of it? Could you prevent it from haunting you for the rest of your days? Also, I think, too depressing.
Would you keep at it day after day, week after week, year after year? Would you grow older knowing that this instrument could ruin you? Could you stand the thought of wearing your own familiar marks into its surface, knowing that inside, where it matters, and where the music happens, there might never be any sign of you, nor any evidence of your effort?
Would you loan the instrument to another, to see if perhaps it would play for someone else? What if it did? If it would play for someone else and not for you, you could surely never believe it was meant to be yours. Could you with any good conscience ask for it back? In any case, would your heart not break?
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